Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
