I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
