what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize