i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
