Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
