I'm drive I can fine osifer
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
