Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
