Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
