the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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