It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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