One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i need some magic done to my vagina
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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