Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
