Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
