What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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