i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
did you just send me my own nude
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
