I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
