I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
