for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
