Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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