Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
