dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
what day is it and did you see me today?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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