Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
