Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
