Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
