so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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