Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize