dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
