i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
