Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
