Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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