put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
