remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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