dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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