do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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