My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
