I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
