if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
