Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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