I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
