girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
