My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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