I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize