That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
