dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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