last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
