i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize