high people should be assigned attendants
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize