he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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