where am i from again
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
His nipple licking is glorious
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