a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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