I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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