you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
