THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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