Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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