Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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