So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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