And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
