You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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