I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Randomize
