i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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