I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
