he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
