you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
