there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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