I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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