my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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