I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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