Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
