nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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