What did we do last night that was yellow?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
