He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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