so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
whose ass print is on the piano?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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