Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
