Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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