I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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