May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
