beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
