this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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